Something
by quiet liban
Summary: Purity. Pretend. Stay. Beauty. Family. Courage. Peace. Love. Recognition. Something. Everybody wants something.


**Title: **Purity. Pretend. Stay. Beauty. Family. Courage. Peace. Love. Recognition. Something.  
**Author: **quiet liban  
**Rating: **T  
**Summary: **Everybody wants something. one-shot  
**Disclaimer: **The Harry Potter universe and characters contained therein are property of JK Rowling and her associated publishers. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Purity. Pretend. Stay. Beauty. Family. Courage. Peace. Love. Recognition. Something.**

Everybody wants something.

It's a simple truth. Or a simple lie. Depending on the currency you choose. Most Gryffindors choose truth. The majority of Hufflepuffs choose safety. The whole of Ravenclaw chooses facts in whatever form they find. And Slytherins… we choose nothing.

We choose whatever suits us at the time.

I'm digressing of course; digressing from my point, as though I had one in the first place.

Everybody wants something.

My father wants racial purity. Or maybe he just wants an excuse to hear others scream. It's hard to decide these days, hard to decide with people, whole families, disappearing left and right, leaving large holes and gaps in society.

I want something. I know that I want something. I can feel it. It sits right beneath my heart and it pushes down on my stomach. This feeling, this wanting. It's a hollow gap, and nothing fills it. It aches sometimes. This wanting.

Pansy wants to pretend. She wants to pretend that the war isn't here. She wants pretend that she's going home for the summer and that everything will be the same when she comes back. She knows that she might not come back, but she wants to pretend anyway. She pretends that Draco was not responsible for letting the Death Eaters in.

Pansy is very good at pretending. She does it very well with her piercing eyes that can make you feel worthless in a single glance. Her sharp knife-like words help her pretend. They stop her from breaking down and weeping.

Blaise wants to stay, not to fight. Blaise is not a fighter. He is a schemer, but still, he wants to stay. To go home would mean he would have to make decisions that he's long been avoiding.

I don't want to stay. I want to know what I want. I want to make that decision. I want to know what that something _is_ that I want.

Millicent wants to lose weight. It seems trivial. Now that people are dying, but people have always been dying. She eats less and less. I watch her with sadness creeping into my heart as she takes increasingly smaller portions of food at the dinner table. I look away when she returns from the bathrooms after supper. I know what she's done. Millicent wants beauty.

I have beauty. It is not something I want.

Draco wanted to save his family. Still wants to save his family, I imagine, if he's still alive. Draco changed to get what he wanted.

I wonder if I'll change, to get whatever it is that will fill the gap between my heart and stomach.

Vincent wants peace. I find this to be a strange want for someone who speaks so effectively with his fists. He collects flowers in the spring. It's an odd thing to see, a muscular bulk holding a posy of daisies.

I would like peace, but I am not entirely sure it is something I _want_. Nothing changes without conflict. If there were peace, I am sure things would be impossibly boring.

Theodore wants courage. Not for himself for Theodore is not brave. Theodore is quiet and unobtrusive. He doesn't need courage, for he will never be in a situation that will require it. Theodore wants courage for his father.

I don't want courage. I don't ever want to be afraid. That is the only time you need courage.

Gregory wants love. He's never had it. His mother is an ice queen, while his father is barely capable of knowing his son exists. He cries at night. I know this because Vincent told me once.

Tracey wants recognition. It's easy to see her want. It gleams in the pupil of her eye and the way she watches us all, trying to become indispensable. Tracey is easy to forget, and she doesn't want that.

I know that I want. I can feel it.

Everybody wants something.


End file.
